a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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