Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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<=3 penis

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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Hi

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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