Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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whats a willy? -brock

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops