How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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25

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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How do you spell eight? 8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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