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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

Knock knock. Racism.

Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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