A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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redtube

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What are we then hypocrites?

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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tee hee

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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?J?o?k?e?

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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Dylan is gay

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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