Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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My life :(

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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