Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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GADZOOKS!

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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