Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A women walks into a kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do u call a banana? A banana......

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops