How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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