columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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