Top Gear USA

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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try slamming a revolving door

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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anti-joke.com

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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No.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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