Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Chinese drivers.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Trashcan!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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