A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops