Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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u jelly?

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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