Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What do you call the black president? Mr.President

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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This is not a joke

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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