why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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What did the "gangster" looking black guy ask the white guy he approached randomly on the street? "Excuse me sir, are you aware of the injustices done toward the jewish community that has been the decline of western society since the reclamation proclamation?"

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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I am a nigger.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Are you a tree

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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