How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

hi

Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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