Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...