A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops