What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

what did the shark do when he died.....

Do you know what's funny? 9/11

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

where does a person with one leg work? anywere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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