roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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Barack Obama

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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