Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Donkey lips

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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