A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops