How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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bees knees

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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Woman's rights

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops