What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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