What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

what do you call a young man? a little boy

How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

69

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

Hahaha

How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

whats the dif...mexicans are gay

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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