Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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A Mormon bishop, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Moslem Imam all died on the same day. They went to hell because they thought their good works would save them.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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potatoes

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops