Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

Jersey Shore

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

knock knock get lost!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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