- Anti Joke

Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.