knock knock get lost!

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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donald................duck for president

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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