Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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