Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Flop dog

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown and smelly? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops