Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

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jwe

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops