A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

Do you like fishsticks No

knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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