- Anti Joke

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

matt f stupid because no one likes him

What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

-Knock Knock -Come in!

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

where do you find sunglasses at? the store

Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

raisin boogers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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