Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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