What do you call a retarded black man? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +9

matt f stupid because no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Justin Bieber got laid

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

thumb_up thumb_down +7

raisin boogers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops