What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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