What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

It is so hard to write an antijoke.

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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