What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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banana

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Dylan is a person

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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5

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how bout that airplane foood!!!1

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops