Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Gingers.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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