Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops