you are a åsshole :)

yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

cancer

Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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