A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the computer crash? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops