A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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Samraj.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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Mark Wilson

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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