A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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What has a head but can't see? A penis.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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