Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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a man said hi.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops