So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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Anagram.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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0 + 0 = 0

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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why did joe drown ? he had no arms

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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