" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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