What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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