Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops